First Class Review

Three weeks ago, I started this blog with anxiety and excitement. I had planned on posting something each week, eager to share my experience of being a new student once again. However, it did not quite work out that way.

Let me just start with this: I SURVIVED MY VERY FIRST CLASS!!! Yay me! I earned a B+ for my Introduction to Human Services class. I think that's pretty good, don't you think?

Yes, it is. It's a big accomplishment for me. But I kind of suffered along the way to adjusting to this school life. My husband said that I seemed to be handling the stress really well, that he didn't see me getting frustrated and flustered with the work and time spent studying. Well, I am very good at concealing my true feelings. I tend to internalize my stress and I think that's what happened. Because I wasn't voicing my frustrations and concerns, I held them all in. This affected my health instead. I contracted tonsillitis so I had difficulty speaking, my allergies came back full-blown, and although I no longer have tonsillitis, there still feels like a glob of phlegm stuck in my throat that just won't go away.  I became so exhausted that I fell asleep a few nights on the living room couch while studying on the computer. And I was just not in the mood to do anything, even play with my four-year-old.

This may not sound like such a big deal, but it was to me because it affected my daily functioning. At one point, I thought I was way in over my head. I thought that it would be a smooth transition. Not as smooth as I hoped.

Fortunately, I survived my first five weeks. Now that I think back on my first reactions to this transition, I realize that I suck at adjusting to new situations! I'm excited before the occurrence. Then when my life engages in the new change, that's when I start to feel uncomfortable and awkward and my insecurities and self-doubts come creeping out. And being the introvert that I am, I don't express my feelings to people because I try to cope with them on my own. I have always known this about myself, but I guess it became even more apparent to me because it affected my health.

I am glad, though, that I went through this. It gave me a better understanding of myself. I know that it won't get any easier, but at least I know how much work, time, effort, and commitment is expected of me. Most importantly, I proved to myself that I CAN do this. I CAN be a school girl once again!

Oh yes, and I seriously think that I could have gotten an A for the class if I had turned in my first assignment correctly! I didn't save it under the right file name and didn't use the correct format! Dang those small mistakes! Oh well, lesson learned! I am just fine with a B+!